It’s not that simple… Being a mom!

It’s not that simple… Being a mom!

A lady becomes a mom from the very first day of her pregnancy. Gradually, the mother in you grows as the baby develops in the womb. Motherhood is an amazing experience, one can relate it  as a God’s Gift. Development of a baby is a miracle. God takes care of minute parts in a human body, so beautifully designed and distinctive.

But that’s not it! Parenting, specially motherhood is a journey with-full of ups and downs.  It is all about sleepless nights, tiring days, disorganised house, crying baby and messy you!

I remember I always used to pray to GOD to give me few more hands to help me complete my chores, after all you need to be multitasking. I feel it is like a challenge now-a-days to raise a child stuffed with principles, emotions, knowledge, health, values and morals from the very beginning.

Although you learn a new thing everyday, there are 5 major lessons I learnt as a MOM :-

1. GOD’s Gift  –

I strongly believe in God. I believe that everything that exists in this world is God’s gift. In fact this world is a magical place. That there is a force somewhere which has planned everything that occurs in my life. My first pregnancy tangled me into millions and zillions of thoughts. My mind used to be a mess of unfinished chunks. I used to wonder when my baby was in my womb whether this is really possible.

The development of the baby in nine months, its movements with span of time, transfer of all the nutrients through the food I ate, him listening to me, kicking  when I used to talk to him, responding to my chats and silence, feeling all the emotions I used to go through during the tenure.  It seemed purely fictional as how can my heart be connected to his? 

I am a working woman so I had to commute to  office and it used to be very hectic carrying all the weight I gained during pregnancy. But God has helped me throughout. Unfortunately, with all the tensions in my mind, my water broke and my baby was delivered prematurely. Thankfully, it was a healthy baby but with less weight. Miracle again. I presume , he is indeed one of God’s incarnation , “My Little Krishna”. As we know that a baby starts feeding within a day, which again is phenomenal.

I wonder how did the teensy-teensy learn to suck milk instantly. Imperceptibly, the baby starts sitting, crawling and finally walking within a year. Can anybody imagine that a creature, so small can walk on his own within an year or rather I should say “just an year”? The more He is praised, the less it is. His appreciation is beyond words and miracles happen. I am one of the living examples and trust me there is more yet to come.

2. Being mom, Child becomes your only priority –

This is the second thing I learnt being a parent that your child becomes your  priority. Suddenly, the focus of your life changes to your baby, ignoring rest of the things. A new born needs a lot of effort and care. You have to be very careful and observe the little one closely. My sweetheart captured all my time and heed.

I had a C-Section. It was so painful that I could hardly bear the agony. I still remember that 10-step walk to the washroom in the hospital room seemed like I had to run a 400 m race but as I held my baby in my arms my suffering did not cease to exist. Wow !! What a tremendous feeling it was. Nurturing your baby is concentric i.e. all other works revolve around this responsibility. You actually have to set your chores as per your baby’s routine. Like most moms I too have skipped  meals and my daily routine in order to complete my son’s chores.

Feeding after every 2-3 hours seemed as a constant cycle. Often I used to bathe and eat at around 4 pm and above all , I got so tired managing everything. Well, I don’t blame him after all it is evident that children need attention. I really had to keep track of all the things. The bottles needed to be properly boiled, temperature of the milk had to be moderate, water in the bath tub had to be warm and not hot or cold, clothes had be comfortable, washed in proper antiseptics.

Which products to use so that it suits the skin of my baby? I used to keep a check of his cleanliness and hygiene. Well !! There are countless things I needed to focus on. But then every child is worth it. My son is my present, my future and it is my responsibility to nurture him with all the love I possess.

3. Surprises of being mom-

Your child is a packet full of surprises. I used to be astonished everyday, overwhelmed with his activities. Children are so full of enthusiasm and energy. Since, my son was a premature I used to be extra cautious about his activities and whereabouts. As my son started growing little by little, my amazement escalated. His actions , behaviour and riposte used to make me so happy. He started recognising both of us very soon. My son is very joyous and cheerful.

I always get positive vibes when I look at him. Surely, he is the sunshine of our life. He started understanding my behaviour that when I am happy, he laughs and gets upset when I am sad. I once started crying due to my inability to handle tasks, my son was about 9-10 months at that time. He looked at me for a moment and started crying by himself. I was so astonished and made a promise not to cry in front of him ever again and I am still keeping it.

When he wakes up, his sparkling eyes make my day. He observes us keenly and then does the same activity by himself. So, we are very careful at our acts in front of him. His acquiring capability is so overwhelming. Once he mistook the person on the other side of the mirror to be somebody else, so he kissed on the mirror. Aren’t children innocent?

There has not been a single day that I didn’t notice something new that he does. I usually capture all his activities in videos so that I can always see them. We are often left amazed by his doings.

Oh ! He is a 2.5 years old stunner now. I am so grateful that we are blessed with such a beautiful creation of God.

4.  Parenting is not a bed of roses-

Parenting is a tough and unrewarded walk of life. It becomes a full time job without sufficient rest. Parenting is a commitment towards your child that you will always protect him. It is indeed a challenging duty loaded with responsibilities, expectations and demands. There were moments when I used to be blank as I could not find out what should have been done at that instance.

I was on high alert every time. Work with the tick-tick of the seconds hand of a clock. My focus was only on what is appropriate for my son and make decisions accordingly. What will you choose a hungry baby or hungry you? I have sometimes fed n eaten at the same time. Yes, it is difficult but it is not impossible. You learn bit by bit for the rest of your life.

I used to panic a lot and loose my temper frequently. Obviously, I happened to be a mother for the first time. There is a lot of exertion running after my super active son. I sometimes thought that I should have had multiple hands. One hand for each chore.(Wink). Slowly, I started following a routine , which most of the times failed, but I didn’t stop.

This cleared weeds and opened up to a path. This routine helped me extricate some of the “Me” time. Time to self relax. I could have a long shower or cook something tasty for myself , a pedicure, applying nail paint, having a conversation with my friends and relatives or watch something brainless on TV just to charge myself for the rest of the day.

Life is beautiful and so are you, despite of all the flaws. So, be easy on yourself, you don’t have to be a perfect mom. You are amazing and have already done a marvellous job in bringing up your child.

5. A Child is an equal responsibility of both the parent- 

This is one of the thing I learnt when I became a parent , otherwise I just saw that it seemed only to be mother’s role to raise a child. Since, I am a working parent, I had to share my responsibilities in order to complete my routine tasks by the end of the day. At times, I have also wanted to share my burden with my life partner.

Since we both love our son equally, why should not the duties be divided equally? Rather, I should say why not raise our son together? After all, alone we can do so little, together we can do so much. This helped me to take small gaps in between the long tiring hours of work. A child needs both the parent equally. Also, my son gets a father-son time to stronger the bond and overall wellness to engage in a man-to-man talks. Obviously, my parenting style is totally different from his.

Research suggests that father’s involvement is important for a child’s development. This does not mean that I am incapable, I just want him to lend a helping hand to me and meanwhile help my son to grow socially, physically, intellectually, emotionally and psychologically. My husband is a loving and supportive father. He always interacts in a playful manner to unwrap our son’s feelings and behaviour. So, in a way together we both help our lad discover himself to the fullest.

As a result, my son learnt to speak “papa” first than “ma”.(LOL). I suggest all the mothers to ask for help to divide the load without feeling guilty. This way I also found some quality time to spend with my better half. On the contrary, I am a wife first. It is necessary for both of us to strengthen our bond through a subtle approach.

I keep learning new things everyday , new experiments to take care of my son. My love for him is unconditional and immense. I will always stand by his side. Toiling to be a good parent and a role model for my son. So that one day he makes all of us proud. Well!!

Moms, I would just shout out to you all to be yourself first. Relax, you are doing a good job. There is no such thing as a perfect Mom. Your kid doesn’t need a perfect Mom, rather needs a Happy Mom.

How was your journey of parenthood?