“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” , in the words of Marilyn Monroe.
We live in a world where striving for perfection is all that we run for. But why to be so harsh on yourself?
I mean, isn’t not folding laundry for an entire week rather dedicating that time for self-pampering isn’t a self-care in itself?
Believe me, I have been doing this the wrong way all my life until now.
What I call myself, partially still, is image conscious. But in the hustle of perfecting this image, I have been tremendously torturing my own being.
Oiled hair, I couldn’t take pictures of mine. Un-waxed, I would wear something where not even an inch of my hand would be visible.
Chores pending, I would kill myself till the last breakdown to just finish it up.
No self-love, no relaxing. Still even the slightest imperfect image words by anyone around would hamper my mental state.
You know what was I doing? I was being too harsh on myself. I was disrespecting myself.
And then I learnt the magic of “Shamelessly loving myself first”!
And then I read a Japanese story about this magic of imperfection …
There it was, wabi-sabi, thought master Rikyu – the father of Japanese tea ceremony.
100s of years back, during the extreme autumn season, a tea master in his majestic tea garden asked the disciple to start with the preparations of tea ceremony. The disciple got excited and made every corner shine like scenic garden. He picked up each twig on the pathways, threw every single dried leaf off the stones, trimmed the hedges. Not even a single grass was out of order. The garden looked impeccable and taintless.
He called his master for inspection just before the ceremony and said, “Master, look what I did to this garden, this looks like a dreamland”.
The master was a veteran. He scrutinized the entire garden. And then he went near a maple tree and shook it off. The chestnut leaves started falling in a haphazard way on the neatly done pathway.
The disciple was tensed to see as the leaves fell but saw his master smiling. The master said, “The garden is one such reflection of this beautiful nature but it can’t be an unrealistic dream. This imperfection is its beauty. The law of nature for leaves is if only the hazel leaves fall, the greener would uproot. ”That was the “magic of imperfection”
This was wabi-sabi, the master Rikyu – known as the father of Japanese Tea ceremony.
What is Wabi-Sabi?
The connotations of Wabi-Sabi is one such pyramidical theory and is an elaborate. Originally, wabi in the lexicons meant “the loneliness of living alone in nature”, and sabi meant “withered” and “lean”.
But over the years, their meaning eventually took on more positive subtlety, with wabi referring to the some bittersweet mournfulness of one self, while sabi symbolizing the grace of aging, or the enchantment that follows with the “blooming times.”
Wabi-Sabi is an indispensable part of my daily life. It is like a path to enlightenment. I don’t say I have adapted it 100%, but yes the more I absorb, the lesser I pay attention to trivial things in my life.
It’s absolutely fine to be imperfect, but it is not ok to be unhappy.
And for that, we cannot regard someone else to be responsible. We ought to take the responsibility of the nuances of our thoughts.
The happiness lies in the simplest of things. A symmetric object might give a vibe of completeness, but an asymmetric object is equally beautiful.
For example, when I roast chappatis, some are extremely round and thin and evolve over the stove like a round balloon, while some test my patience to be retarded in shape and not rolled evenly, they even don’t get fluffy. But a chappati is a chappati! At least I worked upon it, it fed someone. The imperfect one is equally good as that perfect one.
Stop being harsh on yourself running behind perfection that is taking away all your strength and happiness.
Do not worry about what others will talk about you, you are you! Love yourself enough to shamelessly ignore other’s definition of You!
A flawed beauty is more seductive than a perfectly carved one.
How does Wabi-Sabi psychology help improve relationships?
The concept of Wabi-Sabi has more to do with psychology than anything else. In our pursuit of perfection in any of our relationship, we often fall prey to hasty judgements.
This is where the concept of Wabi-Sabi invites a comma. It opens up a desirable arena for acceptance, forgiveness, holding out the olive branch.
In today’s era of so much of social media surroundings, hustle of a luxury life we need this path of enlightenment to pacify our thirst. To find joy in simple things and appreciate the goodness. To forgive the unforgiven. The world around us is already full of stress and anxiety, some of which they might unburden from their shoulder upon you, which makes you sad.
Learn the art of acknowledging this anxiety. Trust yourself more than what is being said about you.
Release yourself from the cage and chains of perfection.
This will lead you to the path of love. The path of happiness. Love for yourself first and then no less for others surrounding you.
fondness of that acne, it will go. Love that rough hair, care for it, it will heal. Forgive the one who said something unwanted about you, for yourself. Let go.
Even if we can practice such a thing for just one day, it will find meaning in the living. We will find our self in utter gratitude towards everything mortal and immortal around us.
Nothing will last except the moments that are flying. Embrace the spots in the moon and the brightness in the sun.
Embrace yourself ! Real beauty lies in imperfection.
After all, even a smile causes wrinkles on our faces, but we love it, isn’t it?