Body Shaming

Body Shaming

“Why do you wear such heavy saggy sarees on every event? Look at that lady there, she looks so hot in that black sequin saree and her body is so fit…” Raman kept on yelling at Preesha in the wedding party. For him, she was no more attractive and looked like a heap of potato sack all covered in colors. She felt embarrassed and loosened her confidence. Her smile fade and now, to every person she met in the event, she became conscious of her looks. Hiding from everyone she thought to have some lone time and went to the snacks corner. Looking around at those cuisines and lip smacking hot snacks, she was just about to take a plate when she heard Raman calling for her. In haste, she left the plate and ran towards him.

He was standing along with his friends and as she came, he said, “Vishal, it is not worth it, here she is – my wife Preesha.”

Preesha smiled and folded her hands in a gesture of Namaste. One of the friends interrupted him, “Raman, why is it not worth introducing your wife, after all she is your better half?”

Raman laughed and briskly swirled his glass of whisky and said, “You are not that unlucky that’s why you are saying so. You have a 4 years son and still your wife looks like some young 20s. And to top that she is so successful in her career. That’s why, you won’t understand my pain.”

Saying this Raman almost lost his senses and there at that moment, Preesha held him from shoulders in her arms. She somehow managed to bring him to their car, with the help of some friends. When they made Raman lie down at the back of the car, one of them said, “Preesha, please don’t mind all that he said. He didn’t know what he was saying as he was overdrunk.”

Preesha smiled but didn’t utter a word. Deep inside she knew this was not the first time. Deep inside she felt humiliated.

She bid them goodbye and started to drive back to home. On her way tears kept rolling her eyes.

All she could do was imagine her past 4 years as a married woman.

She used to be the most wanted girl in her college. Aditya was one of the admirers of her. It started with friendship at ended in a romance relationship. But none of the families agreed due to the differences in their caste.

And eventually Preesha was arranged to Raman. One badly raised man who had no respect for women. One who thought he was the supreme.

For the past 4 years he has been humiliating her for something or the other.

Out of this marriage, she grew into a mentally broken, physically tired and emotionally unrest human. Yes she was no more fit, yes she wore loose clothes, yes she had acne and her hair were not that thick but when was the last time she actually cared for all these?

Preesha, one, whose only work since 4 years was to clean the house, do the laundry, take care of every little need of Raman, his parents, his younger sister and brother.

She couldn’t pursue her studies since the in-law family was too traditional.

For 4 years she never stopped working for them, but the only things she stopped was loving herself. She lost touch with her friends, she hardly got time to talk to her parents or siblings or any other close relative.

She did everything for them, but in return all she got was humiliation for something or the other.

But today it was more than rupturing her self-respect. Enough harm was done.

Tears kept on rolling from her eyes. Did she deserve this after all that she did for them?  She lost her own self, was this what she yearned for?

How would have life been with Aditya?

For one last time she turned back on the back seat, to see a drunk ill-mannered man.
She spoke to herself – “You don’t deserve me.”

Reaching the house, she stared at it and wiped away her tears. It was quite late night so everybody would have slept by then. She dragged Raman to the beautiful garden she has woven all these years and left him lying there.

And before anything would change her mind, she packed her bags, called up her elder brother and silently left the house with just a note asking for a divorce…

She left that house, the house that she thought was her everything but in reality that took away her everything!

For all the Preesha’s around us, I have a special message for you –

Dear Beautiful,

We often forget ourselves in the marathon of life. We become superb wife, magnificent mom and amazing daughter-in-law or sister-in-law but in between all these somewhere in living for everyone, we forget to live for ourselves. It is good to love your family, spread love and happiness, care for them but it is equally important to Be You, the one you are. The one you were before getting married.

Marriages and kids should never come with the pre-trained job of killing away your dreams and your progression.

If you are a home maker, you take care of the entire home from cleanliness to laundry to cooking to looking after them during their illness to studies and what not. In fact, the home makers should rather be called Home Runners because they hardly stop running and they run the entire family, like literally.

If you are a working woman, you run errands, you still maintain your house, in many cases you still cook for the family and of course there are many little unthankful chores you have been doing all since.

Even if you count yourself and take your name at the end of your family, make sure you at least take it.

Count yourself.

Got dark circles? May be because you were working – home chores or professional work and couldn’t sleep properly.

Not a perfect figure? You get tired running day in day out. Remember, you aren’t a machine.

Falling hair? It could be pregnancy or too much of stress or just simple season change.

Don’t UnLove yourself for you don’t fit into the aforesaid definition of beauty!

Eat with love for the food and without the guilt. Flaunt your flabs.

Respect yourself. Give yourself a tight hug.

Put on a bit of kohl and a pretty shade of lipstick. Re-touch your hair. You are worth it.

Promise this to say to yourself – You, yes you whom am talking to… No matter fat or fit, no matter fair or dusky, believe me you are still beautiful.